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Dan Brown's 20 Worst Sentences

Started by Bishamonten, September 18, 2009, 09:55:09 AM

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Bishamonten


dazie

I call Dan Brown's books "literary popcorn"

Yummy, fun, but not much nutritional value.

I can't wait to read this next one.  :)
"Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
I think so, Brain, but how will we get the Spice Girls into the paella?

Alice

I blame the educational system.  Seriously.  They don't teach grammar like they used to and so books like this are appealing to the masses because they're an easy read. 

When I was a kid, I'd sit down with a book and a dictionary.  The kinds of books I was into always had words I didn't understand, so I'd keep the dictionary there to look them up and actually learn new words.  Now, sentence structure, grammar and vocabulary all seem to be simplified so that nobody gets discouraged trying to read it.  God forbid they get to something they might not understand and have to use their brains.

swolt

Quote from: Alice on September 18, 2009, 11:33:51 AM
I blame the educational system.  Seriously.  They don't teach grammar like they used to and so books like this are appealing to the masses because they're an easy read. 

When I was a kid, I'd sit down with a book and a dictionary.  The kinds of books I was into always had words I didn't understand, so I'd keep the dictionary there to look them up and actually learn new words.  Now, sentence structure, grammar and vocabulary all seem to be simplified so that nobody gets discouraged trying to read it.  God forbid they get to something they might not understand and have to use their brains.

"Then Langdon was like 'OMG syrsly?' and the preist was like 'lol owned' and then Langdon was all 'fag!' and then he found the next clue, which was like, totally this awesome thing that had been in the background the whole time."

I really am waiting for a "serious" book written like that. Kids would love it.
A clever man commits no minor blunders.

Alice

Quote from: swolt on September 18, 2009, 11:48:33 AM
Quote from: Alice on September 18, 2009, 11:33:51 AM
I blame the educational system.  Seriously.  They don't teach grammar like they used to and so books like this are appealing to the masses because they're an easy read. 

When I was a kid, I'd sit down with a book and a dictionary.  The kinds of books I was into always had words I didn't understand, so I'd keep the dictionary there to look them up and actually learn new words.  Now, sentence structure, grammar and vocabulary all seem to be simplified so that nobody gets discouraged trying to read it.  God forbid they get to something they might not understand and have to use their brains.

"Then Langdon was like 'OMG syrsly?' and the preist was like 'lol owned' and then Langdon was all 'fag!' and then he found the next clue, which was like, totally this awesome thing that had been in the background the whole time."

I really am waiting for a "serious" book written like that. Kids would love it.

Twilight is pretty damn close.

Bennyhana

Quote from: Alice on September 18, 2009, 11:50:08 AM
Quote from: swolt on September 18, 2009, 11:48:33 AM
Quote from: Alice on September 18, 2009, 11:33:51 AM
I blame the educational system.  Seriously.  They don't teach grammar like they used to and so books like this are appealing to the masses because they're an easy read. 

When I was a kid, I'd sit down with a book and a dictionary.  The kinds of books I was into always had words I didn't understand, so I'd keep the dictionary there to look them up and actually learn new words.  Now, sentence structure, grammar and vocabulary all seem to be simplified so that nobody gets discouraged trying to read it.  God forbid they get to something they might not understand and have to use their brains.

"Then Langdon was like 'OMG syrsly?' and the preist was like 'lol owned' and then Langdon was all 'fag!' and then he found the next clue, which was like, totally this awesome thing that had been in the background the whole time."

I really am waiting for a "serious" book written like that. Kids would love it.

Twilight is pretty damn close.
Twilight was playing in the eye doc's office last night when I went in to fix my contacts.  I'm pretty sure I left with astigmatism and brain damage.  The teen angst was so thick, I couldn't get enough oxygen. 

My biggest problem with the Da Vinci Code was how horribly contrived it all was.  It was like a big history lesson, except the history was fake-which didn't stop people who read it from believing it as truth.

meredith

WHY YOU GOTTA HATE, BISH


DAN BROWN KNOWS THE TRUTH

THE TRUTH

Jessie

So many people use bish in place of bitch on Facebook that I really just thought that's what you were doing.

I was about to cry for you falling victim to this horrible affliction.
we should have kept the quote pyramid up to rape Jessie in the face.

meredith

#8
those people are idiots, jessie.  my brother does it too.


so was dan brown molested by catholics and masons when he was a boy or what?


edit: i like to call him bish because of bishounen. he's my sweet, sweet bishie.

swolt

Quote from: hatt on September 18, 2009, 01:48:19 PM
those people are idiots, jessie.  my brother does it too.


so was dan brown molested by catholics and masons when he was a boy or what?


edit: i like to call him bish because of bishounen

No, he was the only boy NOT molested and has never forgiven them for passing him up
A clever man commits no minor blunders.

Alice

Quote from: Jessie on September 18, 2009, 01:44:52 PM
So many people use bish in place of bitch on Facebook that I really just thought that's what you were doing.

I was about to cry for you falling victim to this horrible affliction.

I hate when people use "kewl".  It makes me want to drive to where they are and stab them in the face. 

dazie

Quote from: Alice on September 18, 2009, 02:27:24 PM
Quote from: Jessie on September 18, 2009, 01:44:52 PM
So many people use bish in place of bitch on Facebook that I really just thought that's what you were doing.

I was about to cry for you falling victim to this horrible affliction.

I hate when people use "kewl".  It makes me want to drive to where they are and stab them in the face. 

this.  Many times over.

Has this morphed in to a "grammar stuff that makes me stabby" thread?  Because I'm good with contributing.
"Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
I think so, Brain, but how will we get the Spice Girls into the paella?

eo000

yeah, and fuck rock and roll, too. devil music!

dazie

So I read his new book.

Then I watched National Treasure.

OMGWFBBQ!  SEPARATED AT BIRTH!!!!11! 

Really though- this one was weak, even in comparison to his other books.  I actually kind of dug DaVinci Code and Angels & Demons, kind of fun "what's going to happen next?" romps.  This one is more "hmm, let's drag this heavy thing all over DC in the middle of the night and comment on how not weird the Masons are."
"Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?"
I think so, Brain, but how will we get the Spice Girls into the paella?