I think there may be birds living in the chimney - there's certainly a lot of chirping coming from there.
I hope it's not monsters.
Close the flue and start a fire.
I have some in my chimney as well. I've grown rather fond of the chirping.
THey'll keep the creosote from building up and save you a TON in chimney sweeping.
We've lived here for 7 years and had like one fire. The chimney sweep isn't getting rich off of us.
Quote from: Gamplayerx on July 23, 2005, 12:47:21 PM
We've lived here for 7 years and had like one fire. The chimney sweep isn't getting rich off of us.
At least tell me you made love in front of it.
Um, okay.
We have screen over the top of our chimney to prevent chimney sweeps from building nests in it.
Quote from: sapphirehart on July 23, 2005, 09:05:00 PM
We have screen over the top of our chimney to prevent chimney sweeps from building nests in it.
Dick Van Dyke built one in my chimney once. Took me weeks to get rid of him.
I thought that chimney sweeps were supposed to clean stuff like nests and winos out of chimneys, not build nests in them.
The house that we lived in just after we married didn't have a screen over the chimney. The birds would build nests in it. Terry would have me build a small smokey fire in the fireplace so the birds would fly out of the chimney. Then he would take aim with his shotgun and blast the birds to smithereens. It was kinda funny yet sad at the same time.
Chim chimney chim chimney chim chim cheroo...
Quote from: Gamplayerx on July 23, 2005, 09:20:09 PM
Chim chimney chim chimney chim chim cheroo...
Good luck will rub off if I shakes hands wif yoo
Chim chimney chim chimney chim chim cheree...
Quote from: Gamplayerx on July 23, 2005, 09:23:35 PM
Chim chimney chim chimney chim chim cheree...
I am as lucky as lucky can be?
Because I'm going to have this song stuck in my head all night.
Ha ha. I've never seen that movie.
Quote from: ignom on July 23, 2005, 09:32:43 PM
Ha ha. I've never seen that movie.
You've never seen Mary Poppins?? How is that possible? Wait - you just moved. Housewarming present!
Mary Poppins is the only movie that Julie Andrews doesn't drive me nuts in.
i'll actually make a useful suggestion and say that one or two burnings won't require a chimney sweep, but should be enough to get the birds out. if not you could vent some noxious volatile chemicals from there.
Quote from: Beefy on July 24, 2005, 04:08:31 PM
Mary Poppins is the only movie that Julie Andrews doesn't drive me nuts in.
I prefer Victor Victoria.
Quote from: CatchrNdRy on July 24, 2005, 04:44:27 PM
i'll actually make a useful suggestion and say that one or two burnings won't require a chimney sweep, but should be enough to get the birds out. if not you could vent some noxious volatile chemicals from there.
You've met me. Do I seem like a heartless bird fryer to you??
what if they were golden retreiver puppies
Quote from: CatchrNdRy on July 25, 2005, 03:25:05 AM
what if they were golden retreiver puppies
Fry away. :)
Quote from: Gamplayerx on July 25, 2005, 06:55:15 AM
Quote from: CatchrNdRy on July 25, 2005, 03:25:05 AM
what if they were golden retreiver puppies
Fry away. :)
I think I am going to change my vote in the "Is Gamp mean?" thread.
They are feeding off of dead Santa. You broke his heart when he found out you were Jewish. He had a North Pole Hard Rock T all nicely wrapped for you.
Quote from: BigDun on July 25, 2005, 07:45:05 AM
Quote from: Gamplayerx on July 25, 2005, 06:55:15 AM
Quote from: CatchrNdRy on July 25, 2005, 03:25:05 AM
what if they were golden retreiver puppies
Fry away. :)
I think I am going to change my vote in the "Is Gamp mean?" thread.
I meant FLY away. Fly. Not fry.
Yeah, that's the ticket.
I'm suddenly in the mood for Chinese food.
For some reason I keep thinking Clouds in my coffee when I read this.
I bet you think this song is about you, don't you don't you don't you.
Quote from: cnamon on July 25, 2005, 10:35:03 AM
For some reason I keep thinking Clouds in my coffee when I read this.
I bet you think this song is about you, don't you don't you don't you.
I'm so vain, I probably think your post is about me.
Quote from: DownSouth on July 25, 2005, 08:21:46 AM
They are feeding off of dead Santa.
That is the best sentence I've read in a while. :)
Now I know why I've saving that Duraflame log.
Sounds like Cat Stevens is making a comeback. ...birds in the chimney with duraflame....la la la la la.....something else......la la la la
Damn these birds! Grumpus won't let me build a fire.
Build it anyway.
He's all like, "What if there are babies? You'd be killing baby birds! And the nest is probably completely blocking the chimney - you'd start a chimney fire!" and other totally unreasonable tripe.
Tell him that if you kill the birds you can have them for dinner. That way they don't go to waste.
I would, but I don't think he'd be able to hear me over the FRICKIN' BIRDS IN THE CHIMNEY!
You typed in all caps! I bet he heard that for sure!
He's not even inside being tortured by the birds at the moment.
Don't birds usually shut up when it gets dark? It could be crickets in your walls, you know.
It's not crickets, but now that you mention it, they have been silent for the last 30 seconds or so.
What I meant to say was that you could have crickets instead of birds.
Oh! I misunderstood. Crickets would be better. Grumpus would totally let me kill those.
A momma swallow built her nest on the top of a column at my office near the front door. After her babies were born she would dive bomb anyone coming in the front door. It was quite funny (unless you were the one being dive bombed)!
Swallows don't have much meat on them.
Quote from: ReBurninator on July 29, 2005, 09:00:10 PM
Swallows don't have much meat on them.
Gulps are much bigger.
Quote from: Gamplayerx on July 29, 2005, 07:30:41 PM
He's all like, "What if there are babies? You'd be killing baby birds! And the nest is probably completely blocking the chimney - you'd start a chimney fire!" and other totally unreasonable tripe.
I guess Grumpus doesn't eat eggs. Or is he a hypocrite?
Quote from: ReBurninator on July 29, 2005, 09:00:10 PM
Swallows don't have much meat on them.
European swallows or African swallows?
Quote from: ignom on July 29, 2005, 09:11:12 PM
Quote from: Gamplayerx on July 29, 2005, 07:30:41 PM
He's all like, "What if there are babies? You'd be killing baby birds! And the nest is probably completely blocking the chimney - you'd start a chimney fire!" and other totally unreasonable tripe.
I guess Grumpus doesn't eat eggs. Or is he a hypocrite?
He's a hypocrite. Of course, you do know that the eggs they sell at supermarkets have no hope of ever becomming chicks, right?
Quote from: Gamplayerx on July 29, 2005, 10:02:52 PM
Quote from: ignom on July 29, 2005, 09:11:12 PM
Quote from: Gamplayerx on July 29, 2005, 07:30:41 PM
He's all like, "What if there are babies? You'd be killing baby birds! And the nest is probably completely blocking the chimney - you'd start a chimney fire!" and other totally unreasonable tripe.
I guess Grumpus doesn't eat eggs. Or is he a hypocrite?
He's a hypocrite. Of course, you do know that the eggs they sell at supermarkets have no hope of ever becomming chicks, right?
Never give up hope, Gamp. Never give up hope. Give up the extra "m" if you must give up something, but please don't give up hope.
D'oh!
And the birds in the chimney and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home dad?
I don't know when, but we'll get together then son
You know we'll have a good time then
Quote from: ignom on July 29, 2005, 09:12:05 PM
Quote from: ReBurninator on July 29, 2005, 09:00:10 PM
Swallows don't have much meat on them.
European swallows or African swallows?
Soldier #1: Where'd you get the coconuts?
Arthur: We found them.
Soldier #1: Found them? In Mercia? The coconut's tropical!
Arthur: What do you mean?
Soldier #1: Well, this is a temperate zone.
Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?
Soldier #1: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
Arthur: Not at all. They could be carried.
Soldier #1: What? A swallow carrying a coconut?
Arthur: It could grip it by the husk!
Soldier #1: It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut.
Arthur: Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here?
Soldier #1: Listen. In order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat its wings forty-three times every second, right?
Arthur: Please!
Soldier #1: Am I right?
Arthur: I'm not interested!
Soldier #2: It could be carried by an African swallow!
Soldier #1: Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European swallow. That's my point.
Soldier #2: Oh, yeah, I agree with that.
Arthur: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?!
Soldier #1: But then of course a-- African swallows are non-migratory.
What?
Wait, I hear something in the chimney. It's not a log... we've got monsters!!!
Quote from: hattmoward on July 23, 2005, 08:55:10 PM
Quote from: Gamplayerx on July 23, 2005, 12:47:21 PM
We've lived here for 7 years and had like one fire. The chimney sweep isn't getting rich off of us.
At least tell me you made love in front of it.
self love doesnt count..
Up on the housetop reindeer pause
Out jumps good old Santa Claus
Down thru the chimney with lots of toys
All for the little ones
Christmas joys
Chorus
Ho, ho, ho!
Who wouldnt go!
Ho, ho, ho!
Who wouldnt go!
Up on the rooftop/housetop
Click, click, click
Down thru the chimney with
Good Saint Nick
The birds have been silent lately. Either they all died, or they moved. Which is good because the chimney sweep and I played phone tag for 3 days before he just stopped returning my calls.
You'll know soon if they died, because they'll start to stink.
Quote from: ReBurninator on September 07, 2005, 01:50:07 PM
You'll know soon if they died, because they'll start to stink.
Ghost birds are way more problematic than chirpy birds.
Quote from: Beefy on September 07, 2005, 02:48:27 PM
Quote from: ReBurninator on September 07, 2005, 01:50:07 PM
You'll know soon if they died, because they'll start to stink.
Ghost birds are way more problematic than chirpy birds.
I can see where that would be true. Upside? Ghost poo probably doesn't stick to anything.
Quote from: ReBurninator on September 07, 2005, 03:00:27 PM
Quote from: Beefy on September 07, 2005, 02:48:27 PM
Quote from: ReBurninator on September 07, 2005, 01:50:07 PM
You'll know soon if they died, because they'll start to stink.
Ghost birds are way more problematic than chirpy birds.
I can see where that would be true. Upside? Ghost poo probably doesn't stick to anything.
Except Bucky.
Quote from: dazie on September 07, 2005, 03:05:51 PM
Quote from: ReBurninator on September 07, 2005, 03:00:27 PM
Quote from: Beefy on September 07, 2005, 02:48:27 PM
Quote from: ReBurninator on September 07, 2005, 01:50:07 PM
You'll know soon if they died, because they'll start to stink.
Ghost birds are way more problematic than chirpy birds.
I can see where that would be true. Upside? Ghost poo probably doesn't stick to anything.
Except Bucky.
The only Bucky I can think of:
(http://pc59te.dte.uma.es/cdb/series/marvel/bitmaps/bucky.jpg)
Why did you kill the birds Gamp?
Quote from: Beefy on September 07, 2005, 03:37:41 PM
Quote from: dazie on September 07, 2005, 03:05:51 PM
Quote from: ReBurninator on September 07, 2005, 03:00:27 PM
Quote from: Beefy on September 07, 2005, 02:48:27 PM
Quote from: ReBurninator on September 07, 2005, 01:50:07 PM
You'll know soon if they died, because they'll start to stink.
Ghost birds are way more problematic than chirpy birds.
I can see where that would be true. Upside? Ghost poo probably doesn't stick to anything.
Except Bucky.
The only Bucky I can think of:
(http://pc59te.dte.uma.es/cdb/series/marvel/bitmaps/bucky.jpg)
Nope. Bucky Katt
(lousy scan... sorry)
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