Kids Room

[Jessie]

I don't think that it's insensitive to speak your mind about the difficulties of being a father or a father to be.

I'm sure it's difficult dealing with someone who is miserable all the time.  However, when you repeatedly say essentially that she's faking it, that does make you seem insensitive.

You have no way of knowing that it's in her head or that she's read too many books.  You have no other frame of reference, but really, each pregnancy is its own frame of reference.

[Jessie]

I think Jessie is pms-ing today.


/I keed, I keed!!!

I'm pregnant, remember?

Did you ever find out who the father was?

I've got it narrowed down to like 5.

Am I on the short list?

oh yeah, baby.

[sapphirehart]

I think Jessie is pms-ing today.


/I keed, I keed!!!

I'm pregnant, remember?

Did you ever find out who the father was?

I've got it narrowed down to like 5.

Am I on the short list?

oh yeah, baby.

Yay, I may be the baby daddy!

[Listener]

I don't think that it's insensitive to speak your mind about the difficulties of being a father or a father to be.

I'm sure it's difficult dealing with someone who is miserable all the time.  However, when you repeatedly say essentially that she's faking it, that does make you seem insensitive.

You have no way of knowing that it's in her head or that she's read too many books.  You have no other frame of reference, but really, each pregnancy is its own frame of reference.

The problem isn't that she's faking it, because I know she's not.

This is the problem:

In 2004, she had a very severe anxiety attack brought on by fear of mortality.  Worse, she had it while we were away on a family vacation, instead of at home.  The urgent-care center we went to didn't help -- we didn't know it was an anxiety attack, and neither did they, so they said (essentially), "we don't know what's wrong with you, here's some antinausea medicine like you asked for, see your own doctor when you get home". 

The moment her doctor diagnosed her with anxiety/panic disorder and prescribed her Zoloft, she looked up the side effects, and then proceeded to have 95% of them.  I'm certain she was having a few side effects, but ALL of them?  Some of them are counterindicated, like constipation and diarrhea.  (I've really seen one medicine -- not Zoloft -- have both of those as potential side effects.) 

She also started seeing a counselor, but was extremely resistant to the theraputic techniques the counselor tried to use to help her.  She saw a second counselor when we moved to Georgia, but that one was just as unhelpful.  She eventually stopped taking the medication and has had a couple of minor anxiety attacks, but nothing serious.  However, her overall anxiety level has gone up to somewhere between "above normal" and "almost but not quite dangerous".  Whenever something happens (physically), she researches it obsessively and seeks out the worst. 

The moment the test said "pregnant" she began researching everything about pregnancy.  Good, right?  Well, not so much, because she immediately -- like, within 12 hours -- started having morning sickness.  She went to the OB and they gave her a list of different foods to try, as well as suggesting she take Vitamin B6 and get an acupressure bracelet.  She tried the foods, and they worked a little, but then she "got tired" of them and returned to her normal diet of chocolate milk, cookies, and whatever she felt like scrounging out of the fridge.  She didn't try the Vitamin B6 or the bracelet.  She still resists them.

She stopped taking the prenatal vitamins because she felt (rightly) that they were contributing to her nausea.  But that didn't go away, and she got a bad case of acid reflux.  Since she can't take reflux medication (her doctor says), she's taking an antinausea medicine so she doesn't throw up when the reflux hits.  I've asked her to ask the doctor if she can take one dose baby aspirin to maybe soothe the tickle in her throat and make her stop coughing (a symptom of her reflux) but she refuses to ask.

And that's where we are right now.

I'm sure she's definitely feeling some "generic" pregnancy symptoms, but I think that she's also feeling some subconsciously, based upon her medical history.  That's basically what I was trying to say.

[Jessie]

I don't think that it's insensitive to speak your mind about the difficulties of being a father or a father to be.

I'm sure it's difficult dealing with someone who is miserable all the time.  However, when you repeatedly say essentially that she's faking it, that does make you seem insensitive.

You have no way of knowing that it's in her head or that she's read too many books.  You have no other frame of reference, but really, each pregnancy is its own frame of reference.

The problem isn't that she's faking it, because I know she's not.

This is the problem:

In 2004, she had a very severe anxiety attack brought on by fear of mortality.  Worse, she had it while we were away on a family vacation, instead of at home.  The urgent-care center we went to didn't help -- we didn't know it was an anxiety attack, and neither did they, so they said (essentially), "we don't know what's wrong with you, here's some antinausea medicine like you asked for, see your own doctor when you get home". 

The moment her doctor diagnosed her with anxiety/panic disorder and prescribed her Zoloft, she looked up the side effects, and then proceeded to have 95% of them.  I'm certain she was having a few side effects, but ALL of them?  Some of them are counterindicated, like constipation and diarrhea.  (I've really seen one medicine -- not Zoloft -- have both of those as potential side effects.) 

She also started seeing a counselor, but was extremely resistant to the theraputic techniques the counselor tried to use to help her.  She saw a second counselor when we moved to Georgia, but that one was just as unhelpful.  She eventually stopped taking the medication and has had a couple of minor anxiety attacks, but nothing serious.  However, her overall anxiety level has gone up to somewhere between "above normal" and "almost but not quite dangerous".  Whenever something happens (physically), she researches it obsessively and seeks out the worst. 

The moment the test said "pregnant" she began researching everything about pregnancy.  Good, right?  Well, not so much, because she immediately -- like, within 12 hours -- started having morning sickness.  She went to the OB and they gave her a list of different foods to try, as well as suggesting she take Vitamin B6 and get an acupressure bracelet.  She tried the foods, and they worked a little, but then she "got tired" of them and returned to her normal diet of chocolate milk, cookies, and whatever she felt like scrounging out of the fridge.  She didn't try the Vitamin B6 or the bracelet.  She still resists them.

She stopped taking the prenatal vitamins because she felt (rightly) that they were contributing to her nausea.  But that didn't go away, and she got a bad case of acid reflux.  Since she can't take reflux medication (her doctor says), she's taking an antinausea medicine so she doesn't throw up when the reflux hits.  I've asked her to ask the doctor if she can take one dose baby aspirin to maybe soothe the tickle in her throat and make her stop coughing (a symptom of her reflux) but she refuses to ask.

And that's where we are right now.

I'm sure she's definitely feeling some "generic" pregnancy symptoms, but I think that she's also feeling some subconsciously, based upon her medical history.  That's basically what I was trying to say.

Ok, I'm sure it's more complicated than we'll ever know totally.  I'm sorry you're both having a rough time with the pregnancy.

[Listener]

I don't think that it's insensitive to speak your mind about the difficulties of being a father or a father to be.

I'm sure it's difficult dealing with someone who is miserable all the time.  However, when you repeatedly say essentially that she's faking it, that does make you seem insensitive.

You have no way of knowing that it's in her head or that she's read too many books.  You have no other frame of reference, but really, each pregnancy is its own frame of reference.

The problem isn't that she's faking it, because I know she's not.

I'm sure she's definitely feeling some "generic" pregnancy symptoms, but I think that she's also feeling some subconsciously, based upon her medical history.  That's basically what I was trying to say.

Ok, I'm sure it's more complicated than we'll ever know totally.  I'm sorry you're both having a rough time with the pregnancy.

Thanks.

[cnamon]

Paint the room a gender neutral color like yellow or green.  Get a good paint that will go on in one coat. 

Do you talk to your wife about how you think things are going?

[DownSouth]

If it's a boy and your worried about what his friends will say then paint it in like 4 friggin years when he even has friends coming over into his room.

[Listener]

Paint the room a gender neutral color like yellow or green.  Get a good paint that will go on in one coat. 

Do you talk to your wife about how you think things are going?

We were actually thinking blue -- most girls I know like blue. 

I try to talk to her.  But it's hard.  The hormones -- and she admits this -- make her irrational without warning from time to time.

[Listener]

If it's a boy and your worried about what his friends will say then paint it in like 4 friggin years when he even has friends coming over into his room.

I would just rather do it now, when we don't have to (a) keep the kid out of his room for two days while the paint dries and the fumes air out (b) move all the toys and furniture and stuff away from the walls (which we would have to do now, but there's only four pieces of furniture in there).

[Bishamonten]

Am I the only one that thinks a baby doesn't care what color the walls in its room are?

[cnamon]

Am I the only one that thinks a baby doesn't care what color the walls in its room are?

I think it matters because the way a room looks can effect your mood and how you think.

In my house, I don't like being in my guest bedroom because it has no color on the walls and it is boring.  I feel most comfortable in a room that is inviting. 

If the parents (in this case) aren't comfortable in the room and don't think it feels right, it could effect the baby.

[Bishamonten]

Am I the only one that thinks a baby doesn't care what color the walls in its room are?

I think it matters because the way a room looks can effect your mood and how you think.

In my house, I don't like being in my guest bedroom because it has no color on the walls and it is boring.  I feel most comfortable in a room that is inviting. 

If the parents (in this case) aren't comfortable in the room and don't think it feels right, it could effect the baby.

The kid will have just came from a wet dark pinkish gray cave...

[Alice]

If the parents (in this case) aren't comfortable in the room and don't think it feels right, it could effect the baby.

If the way a parent feels about the paint color of a room, really affects the baby, those people should not be parents.

(Note: Listener, I am not saying you shouldn't be parents.  I doubt your feelings on the lilac room would affect your child's well being.)

[Bishamonten]

If the parents (in this case) aren't comfortable in the room and don't think it feels right, it could effect the baby.

If the way a parent feels about the paint color of a room, really affects the baby, those people should not be parents.

(Note: Listener, I am not saying you shouldn't be parents.  I doubt your feelings on the lilac room would affect your child's well being.)

Except for the fact that if you place a boy in a lilac room he will obviously grow up with an insatiable urge for cock...

[Alice]

If the parents (in this case) aren't comfortable in the room and don't think it feels right, it could effect the baby.

If the way a parent feels about the paint color of a room, really affects the baby, those people should not be parents.

(Note: Listener, I am not saying you shouldn't be parents.  I doubt your feelings on the lilac room would affect your child's well being.)

Except for the fact that if you place a boy in a lilac room he will obviously grow up with an insatiable urge for cock...

Hmmm... I wonder if that's why all the guys in chat are gay? 

[Gamplayerx]

Oh, for pete's sake.  It's paint.  It's not rocket science.  Just throw up fabric over the walls and when Listener, Jr. is old enough to care about wall color, either send him or her to Grandma's for the weekend or let him or her help.

[DownSouth]

If the parents (in this case) aren't comfortable in the room and don't think it feels right, it could effect the baby.

If the way a parent feels about the paint color of a room, really affects the baby, those people should not be parents.

(Note: Listener, I am not saying you shouldn't be parents.  I doubt your feelings on the lilac room would affect your child's well being.)

Except for the fact that if you place a boy in a lilac room he will obviously grow up with an insatiable urge for cock...

Hmmm... I wonder if that's why all the guys in chat are gay? 

Stop sending pictures of your penis to us.

[eo000]

pete's sake.

[Gamplayerx]

pete's sake.

Haha. 

[DownSouth]

pete's sake.

Haha. 

Brilliant

[meredith]

The color of the room won't make your kid gay, it's physical contact and sometimes close proximity with them that will.

[Jessie]

pete's sake.

You're an amazing man.

Also, man, what Gamp said is right.  it's paint.  Crap. Please, resolve this before something important comes up, like what outfit he should wear in his hospital picture.

[cnamon]

pete's sake.

You're an amazing man.

Also, man, what Gamp said is right.  it's paint.  Crap. Please, resolve this before something important comes up, like what outfit he should wear in his hospital picture.

IT IS NOT JUST PAINT!

It is hard for me to be comfortable in rooms that are uninviting to me.  That is one of the reasones why I don't go home. 

But then again, I am strange.

And this is not really about the baby...it is more about the comfort level of the parents.

[Infobahn]

I like pie.