Crystal Reports

[Jessie]

Anyone know how to use Crystal Reports?

I'd pay someone to make me up a nice easy report so I don't have to type all the data off of every invoice we do every month into a stupid spreadsheet. 

[Beefy]

Who is Crystal?  Is she naked?

[Infobahn]

I once did.  It is a good thing to learn and have on your resume, but it has been a long time for me.

Sorry.

[Jessie]

I think that I'm going to use my hatred for doing this task as my motivator for getting in there and learning how to use CR.

[Mr. Ubiquity]

Anyone know how to use Crystal Reports?

I'd pay someone to make me up a nice easy report so I don't have to type all the data off of every invoice we do every month into a stupid spreadsheet. 

cash or trade in *services*?

[Jessie]

Anyone know how to use Crystal Reports?

I'd pay someone to make me up a nice easy report so I don't have to type all the data off of every invoice we do every month into a stupid spreadsheet. 

cash or trade in *services*?

I don't have many skills for *services* and ignom's my pimp, so you'll have to ask him.

[Mr. Ubiquity]

ignom ---  what can she do for me if i help her?

[ignom]

ignom ---  what can she do for me if i help her?

Cancel the restraining order.

[Mr. Ubiquity]

ignom ---  what can she do for me if i help her?

Cancel the restraining order.

yeah, but she asked for it.  wearing a mini skirt and what not.  i couldnt help myself.   she IS a redhead u know.

[Alice]

If by 'report' you mean 'meth', then yes.

[Mr. Ubiquity]

If by 'report' you mean 'meth', then yes.

nice name change there

[Jessie]

I don't even own a skirt.

[Mr. Ubiquity]

I don't even own a skirt.

good, i wasnt asking you to wear it for very long if you were... JK

[BigDun]

I used to know CR. I hated it. I have found that Excel does a much better job of reporting. Why are you retyping data? Why not just import it?

[Jessie]

I don't know how to import it from our regular computer system thingy.  All the fields have codes that don't make any sense.  I basically want CR to import the data and then spit it back out into excel.

[ReBurn]

How old is your version of Crystal Reports?  As far as I know Crystal Reports was never much good at data transformation unless you were really good at writing macros and crap.  What kind of database are you trying to query?

[BigDun]

I think she works on an AS/400. Without a defined dataset that she could FTP or a host gateway, connecting to the datasource will be ludicrously difficult.

I could do it if you can afford $100/hour plus travel and lodging.

[ReBurn]

No doubt.  AS/400...how I miss thee logical files...

[Jessie]

So you're saying it's basically hopeless?

I have a list of all the filenames and crap that I need, and the chick that did my job a while ago managed to figure out SOME CRs, so I will probably still try.  It's not like I have anything else to do anyway.

[Beefy]

http://www.codeguru.com/Csharp/Csharp/cs_graphics/chartsandgraphing/article.php/c10483/

http://www.planet-source-code.com/vb/scripts/BrowseCategoryOrSearchResults.asp?lngWId=10&blnAuthorSearch=TRUE&lngAuthorId=1956894998&strAuthorName=Bill%20SerGio,%20The%20Infomercial%20King&txtMaxNumberOfEntriesPerPage=25

http://www.bitpipe.com/detail/RES/1098207626_862.html

[Jessie]

http://www.codeguru.com/Csharp/Csharp/cs_graphics/chartsandgraphing/article.php/c10483/

http://www.planet-source-code.com/vb/scripts/BrowseCategoryOrSearchResults.asp?lngWId=10&blnAuthorSearch=TRUE&lngAuthorId=1956894998&strAuthorName=Bill%20SerGio,%20The%20Infomercial%20King&txtMaxNumberOfEntriesPerPage=25

http://www.bitpipe.com/detail/RES/1098207626_862.html

Thanks, Beef.  I think I'll read through that stuff tomorrow when i go back to work.

[Dry then Catch]

i was hoping you were actually doing a report on crystals or helping Timmy do one cause i have an old archived website I created as an undergrad. 

[ReBurn]

http://www.codeguru.com/Csharp/Csharp/cs_graphics/chartsandgraphing/article.php/c10483/

http://www.planet-source-code.com/vb/scripts/BrowseCategoryOrSearchResults.asp?lngWId=10&blnAuthorSearch=TRUE&lngAuthorId=1956894998&strAuthorName=Bill%20SerGio,%20The%20Infomercial%20King&txtMaxNumberOfEntriesPerPage=25

http://www.bitpipe.com/detail/RES/1098207626_862.html

Thanks, Beef.  I think I'll read through that stuff tomorrow when i go back to work.

I just laughed heartily.

Jessie, if you need it I have a demo copy of Visual Studio .NET 2005 Beta 2 here that I got at the code camp last weekend.  It contains the development tools that will work until general release in November, a 365 day evaluation copy of SQL Server 2005 developer edition, and an evaluation copy of Team System server.  It's on 3 DVD's.  I already have it at work, so I can spare the copy if you want to try that stuff out.

[Dry then Catch]

i was hoping you were actually doing a report on crystals or helping Timmy do one cause i have an old archived website I created as an undergrad. 

http://aml.arizona.edu/classes/mse222/1998/brucite/page1.htm

oh baby thats some fine 1998 html

[Gamplayerx]

i was hoping you were actually doing a report on crystals or helping Timmy do one cause i have an old archived website I created as an undergrad. 

http://aml.arizona.edu/classes/mse222/1998/brucite/page1.htm

oh baby thats some fine 1998 html

Your capitalization choices tickle me.

[Jessie]

http://www.codeguru.com/Csharp/Csharp/cs_graphics/chartsandgraphing/article.php/c10483/

http://www.planet-source-code.com/vb/scripts/BrowseCategoryOrSearchResults.asp?lngWId=10&blnAuthorSearch=TRUE&lngAuthorId=1956894998&strAuthorName=Bill%20SerGio,%20The%20Infomercial%20King&txtMaxNumberOfEntriesPerPage=25

http://www.bitpipe.com/detail/RES/1098207626_862.html

Thanks, Beef.  I think I'll read through that stuff tomorrow when i go back to work.

I just laughed heartily.

Jessie, if you need it I have a demo copy of Visual Studio .NET 2005 Beta 2 here that I got at the code camp last weekend.  It contains the development tools that will work until general release in November, a 365 day evaluation copy of SQL Server 2005 developer edition, and an evaluation copy of Team System server.  It's on 3 DVD's.  I already have it at work, so I can spare the copy if you want to try that stuff out.

I have no idea what that means.  Is that bad?

And Catchr, here's a touching story for you.  Yesterday Timothy had a fieldtrip to Squire Boone Caverns (read:cave that doesn't really compare to Mammoth), and they got to make candles and collect rocks.  Last night when I called from job 2 to tell him goodnight, he told me to check the pocket of my robe in the morning.   He had put his prettiest rock in my pocket as a present.  Awwww.  Isn't he sweet? 

Oh, he also has a clear rock.  Does that constitute crystal?

[Dry then Catch]

http://www.codeguru.com/Csharp/Csharp/cs_graphics/chartsandgraphing/article.php/c10483/

http://www.planet-source-code.com/vb/scripts/BrowseCategoryOrSearchResults.asp?lngWId=10&blnAuthorSearch=TRUE&lngAuthorId=1956894998&strAuthorName=Bill%20SerGio,%20The%20Infomercial%20King&txtMaxNumberOfEntriesPerPage=25

http://www.bitpipe.com/detail/RES/1098207626_862.html

Thanks, Beef.  I think I'll read through that stuff tomorrow when i go back to work.

I just laughed heartily.

Jessie, if you need it I have a demo copy of Visual Studio .NET 2005 Beta 2 here that I got at the code camp last weekend.  It contains the development tools that will work until general release in November, a 365 day evaluation copy of SQL Server 2005 developer edition, and an evaluation copy of Team System server.  It's on 3 DVD's.  I already have it at work, so I can spare the copy if you want to try that stuff out.

I have no idea what that means.  Is that bad?

And Catchr, here's a touching story for you.  Yesterday Timothy had a fieldtrip to Squire Boone Caverns (read:cave that doesn't really compare to Mammoth), and they got to make candles and collect rocks.  Last night when I called from job 2 to tell him goodnight, he told me to check the pocket of my robe in the morning.   He had put his prettiest rock in my pocket as a present.  Awwww.  Isn't he sweet? 

Oh, he also has a clear rock.  Does that constitute crystal?

at some level considering it has a repeating lattice structure, it is a crystal though not the colloquial "shiny" crystal.  I would have been yelled at for dragging rocks in the house.  Then again I didn't do things that sweet for my mom you are lucky!

[Jessie]

http://www.codeguru.com/Csharp/Csharp/cs_graphics/chartsandgraphing/article.php/c10483/

http://www.planet-source-code.com/vb/scripts/BrowseCategoryOrSearchResults.asp?lngWId=10&blnAuthorSearch=TRUE&lngAuthorId=1956894998&strAuthorName=Bill%20SerGio,%20The%20Infomercial%20King&txtMaxNumberOfEntriesPerPage=25

http://www.bitpipe.com/detail/RES/1098207626_862.html

Thanks, Beef.  I think I'll read through that stuff tomorrow when i go back to work.

I just laughed heartily.

Jessie, if you need it I have a demo copy of Visual Studio .NET 2005 Beta 2 here that I got at the code camp last weekend.  It contains the development tools that will work until general release in November, a 365 day evaluation copy of SQL Server 2005 developer edition, and an evaluation copy of Team System server.  It's on 3 DVD's.  I already have it at work, so I can spare the copy if you want to try that stuff out.

I have no idea what that means.  Is that bad?

And Catchr, here's a touching story for you.  Yesterday Timothy had a fieldtrip to Squire Boone Caverns (read:cave that doesn't really compare to Mammoth), and they got to make candles and collect rocks.  Last night when I called from job 2 to tell him goodnight, he told me to check the pocket of my robe in the morning.   He had put his prettiest rock in my pocket as a present.  Awwww.  Isn't he sweet? 

Oh, he also has a clear rock.  Does that constitute crystal?

at some level considering it has a repeating lattice structure, it is a crystal though not the colloquial "shiny" crystal.  I would have been yelled at for dragging rocks in the house.  Then again I didn't do things that sweet for my mom you are lucky!

One day Timothy and Adam's daughter went out back and collected boxes full of rocks to sell.  I figure they'll be retiring any day now.

[DownSouth]

http://www.codeguru.com/Csharp/Csharp/cs_graphics/chartsandgraphing/article.php/c10483/

http://www.planet-source-code.com/vb/scripts/BrowseCategoryOrSearchResults.asp?lngWId=10&blnAuthorSearch=TRUE&lngAuthorId=1956894998&strAuthorName=Bill%20SerGio,%20The%20Infomercial%20King&txtMaxNumberOfEntriesPerPage=25

http://www.bitpipe.com/detail/RES/1098207626_862.html

Thanks, Beef.  I think I'll read through that stuff tomorrow when i go back to work.

I just laughed heartily.

Jessie, if you need it I have a demo copy of Visual Studio .NET 2005 Beta 2 here that I got at the code camp last weekend.  It contains the development tools that will work until general release in November, a 365 day evaluation copy of SQL Server 2005 developer edition, and an evaluation copy of Team System server.  It's on 3 DVD's.  I already have it at work, so I can spare the copy if you want to try that stuff out.

I have no idea what that means.  Is that bad?

And Catchr, here's a touching story for you.  Yesterday Timothy had a fieldtrip to Squire Boone Caverns (read:cave that doesn't really compare to Mammoth), and they got to make candles and collect rocks.  Last night when I called from job 2 to tell him goodnight, he told me to check the pocket of my robe in the morning.   He had put his prettiest rock in my pocket as a present.  Awwww.  Isn't he sweet? 

Oh, he also has a clear rock.  Does that constitute crystal?

at some level considering it has a repeating lattice structure, it is a crystal though not the colloquial "shiny" crystal.  I would have been yelled at for dragging rocks in the house.  Then again I didn't do things that sweet for my mom you are lucky!

One day Timothy and Adam's daughter went out back and collected boxes full of rocks to sell.  I figure they'll be retiring any day now.

Timothy and Adam have a daughter?

[Alice]

Timothy and Adam have a daughter?

Complete with cat poop.

[Jessie]

http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=1678143

[Gamplayerx]

Wow, jessie.  You've changed a LOT since I saw you last. 

[Jessie]

Wow, jessie.  You've changed a LOT since I saw you last. 

Just tryin to keep you on your toes.