Drunken Derby Pie

[Jessie]

Get drunk on rum.

Look up recipe online.

Turn on oven, only 50 degrees higher than what the recipe calls for.

Mix stuff, as teh recipe callls for, except add 'a splash of rum' that would get a pirate drunk, and decide that you need to roughly double the amount of chocolate chips.

Put in the oven, and go make out.

Come back to the kitchen, laughing maniacally when you notice that the house is full of smoke.

Take down smoke detector.

Reduce heat, and continue cooking the now HIDEOUS looking pie.

Eat it when it is done, laughing like mad. 

[ReBurn]

Then let your kid watch Dawn of the Dead, because by this time you just don't care any more.

[JJ]

Cooking when you're trashed is pretty tough to pull off.

Believe me, I've tried.

Oh man, mother's day 2004...biggest gong show ever. Kitchen was DESTROYED by the end, and I was trashed. Plus I had too much on the menu and it didn't all come together. Bleh. However, I have pulled off killer from-scratch meals with a bit of help. Sous-chefing helps a lot.

So does not being loaded, I guess.

[Jessie]

Well, first we cooked butterfly porkchops sauteed in tomatoes, garlic, onion, and green peppers, along with garlic mashed potatoes. 

Well, that's not true.  First we started drinking, then we cooked all that.

Then we drank some more. 

Then we made pie.

Timothy wasn't home, so it didn't affect my parenting!

Right now, we're watching Dawn of the Dead, til it gets too graphic or sexual or whatever and he can't handle it, or I deem it too much for him.

[JJ]

You're a mom?

[Jessie]

I am, indeed.

I have a son who is ten.

[JJ]

Crazy! I had no idea.

[ReBurn]

I am, indeed.

I have a son who is ten.

And as a mom, I would expect that you would know by now that butterflies are not made of pork.  And butterfly chops are very, very small.