The Transporter 2

[Dry then Catch]

The original Transporter was 55% stylistic action blended with the right amount of panache and attitude.  Sure the classic blockbuster ubiquitous elements of "SWEET CARS and chases. witty lines after fights, and exaggerated gunplay" were present , but it certainly had an aura and charm all its own.

Frank, the driver, had an enigma-like quality.  An anal, morally ambiguous workaholic obsessed with his car and the associated facts and figures.  His loyalty was to nothing but the job at hand.  Granted, by the second half his HEART OF GOLD shone through, but the process as fun as a ride in his custom 700 series BMW.  Of course the second half fell into the old formulaic save the girl and the world stuff.  Therefore, it is more or less seen as a somewhat flawed but palatable cult action flick, not unlike Boondock Saints.  You didn't know whether he was a bastard or a hero. 

Now Transporter 2 might as well be called Jackie Chan's Transporter 2.  Insanely over the top would not even begin to describe it.  Now Frank is unquestionably devoted to an adorable, precocious moppet headed little boy whom he chauffeurs around for a beautiful and misunderstood wife of a politician.   There is the drug lord with the accent and the amoral sexy Russian assassin named "Lola".

QUOTE OF THE YEAR:
Frank: This flight is canceled
Drug Lord:  You've been canceled. (BANG)

Nonetheless, Frank is a compelling, square jawed, strong and silent protagonist.  He embodies the European (James Bond bourgeois taste for expensive suits, autos and accents)  the American (pure, impetuous, lovable hunky cowboy), and Asian (asexual, wise, karate sage) standards for heroism. 



I think the way its headed Transporter 5 will probably star Tom Berrenger in a Hyundai Accent on the USA network. 





 

[Mr. Ubiquity]

The original Transporter was 55% stylistic action blended with the right amount of panache and attitude.  Sure the classic blockbuster ubiquitous elements of "SWEET CARS and chases. witty lines after fights, and exaggerated gunplay" were present , but it certainly had an aura and charm all its own.

Frank, the driver, had an enigma-like quality.  An anal, morally ambiguous workaholic obsessed with his car and the associated facts and figures.  His loyalty was to nothing but the job at hand.  Granted, by the second half his HEART OF GOLD shone through, but the process as fun as a ride in his custom 700 series BMW.  Of course the second half fell into the old formulaic save the girl and the world stuff.  Therefore, it is more or less seen as a somewhat flawed but palatable cult action flick, not unlike Boondock Saints.  You didn't know whether he was a bastard or a hero. 

Now Transporter 2 might as well be called Jackie Chan's Transporter 2.  Insanely over the top would not even begin to describe it.  Now Frank is unquestionably devoted to an adorable, precocious moppet headed little boy whom he chauffeurs around for a beautiful and misunderstood wife of a politician.   There is the drug lord with the accent and the amoral sexy Russian assassin named "Lola".

QUOTE OF THE YEAR:
Frank: This flight is canceled
Drug Lord:  You've been canceled. (BANG)

Nonetheless, Frank is a compelling, square jawed, strong and silent protagonist.  He embodies the European (James Bond bourgeois taste for expensive suits, autos and accents)  the American (pure, impetuous, lovable hunky cowboy), and Asian (asexual, wise, karate sage) standards for heroism. 



I think the way its headed Transporter 5 will probably star Tom Berrenger in a Hyundai Accent on the USA network. 


 

Did you write that journalistic mass of BS or was it taken from an article ?

[ignom]

Even from the previews, I can tell it's a Jackie Chan rip-off, especially the fight scene where he uses a fire hose.

I still want to see it. I wish he still had the Beamer.

[Mr. Ubiquity]

Even from the previews, I can tell it's a Jackie Chan rip-off, especially the fight scene where he uses a fire hose.

I still want to see it. I wish he still had the Beamer.

THATS where that whole thing came from...   I knew it looked familiar..

This one seemed to have some cheesy action in it though. 

[ReBurn]

Cheesy action movies are awesome.

[Mr. Ubiquity]

Cheesy action movies are awesome.

I guess i have high standards even for cheese.

[Jessie]

Cheesy action movies are awesome.

I guess i have high standards even for cheese.

White cheese far surpasses yellow cheese.

[Bishamonten]

I would still prefer the BMW mini-movies with Clive Owen

[Jessie]

I love Clive Owen a little.

[Bishamonten]

Cheesy action movies are awesome.

I guess i have high standards even for cheese.

White cheese far surpasses yellow cheese.

Your dislike of Asians, and specifically of Catcher, is showing through your thinly veiled racism.  Please don't stop.

[ReBurn]

I love Clive Owen a little.

Does that mean you want to **** him?

[Jessie]

I love Clive Owen a little.

Does that mean you want to **** him?

I'd prefer to #### him, but I'd **** him if that's all I was offered.

[ignom]

I would still prefer the BMW mini-movies with Clive Owen

I have those on my computer.

Anyone that hasn't seen them can watch them here
http://usa.bmwfilms.com/clap.asp?template=season1&country=usa&film=

[Gamplayerx]

I love Clive Owen a little.

Does that mean you want to **** him?

I'd prefer to #### him, but I'd **** him if that's all I was offered.

Hahaha.  ++++

[Dry then Catch]

Did you write that journalistic mass of BS or was it taken from an article ?

I realize it may be hard to believe, but sometimes I can manage to write more than a paragraph of random words strung together.  That is how much I felt about that movie.  That and I drank like liter of diet coke and was sort of hyped up.  That and I was waiting for my crest white strips to finish.  also, my laundry was almost done.  but not quite dry.  but ya know sometimes you are willing to wear slightly damp underwear just for the sake of getting it done.  but i digress.

[ReBurn]

I heard that your slightly-damp underwear was not the direct result of the dryer not drying your clothes completely, but rather something else entirely.

[Beefy]

I heard that your slightly-damp underwear was not the direct result of the dryer not drying your clothes completely, but rather something else entirely.

You and your golden showers...

[vampirepenguin]

***********************************************Beware.. what lies below may contain spoilers.. if you weep like a baby when someone divulges obscure information about a film, that has nothing to do with the plot..then by all means.. STOP!!***********************************************************

Highlights(sort of)::
OK.. so that movie was not as good as the first one.. but any movie with that studly british fella.. and I am soooo there.. he should have had is shirt off a lot more.. but oh well.. This movie by far had sexier vehicles...OMG...

Could have lived w/o:  That lame as scene where he knocks a bomb off the bottom of his ride with a hook from a crane.. OMG.. the whole theatre laughed at that one.. and OMG.. I could have done with out that skanky gun packing Pink look a like beyatch..

[Dry then Catch]

***********************************************Beware.. what lies below may contain spoilers.. if you weep like a baby when someone divulges obscure information about a film, that has nothing to do with the plot..then by all means.. STOP!!***********************************************************

Highlights(sort of)::
OK.. so that movie was not as good as the first one.. but any movie with that studly british fella.. and I am soooo there.. he should have had is shirt off a lot more.. but oh well.. This movie by far had sexier vehicles...OMG...

Could have lived w/o:  That lame as scene where he knocks a bomb off the bottom of his ride with a hook from a crane.. OMG.. the whole theatre laughed at that one.. and OMG.. I could have done with out that skanky gun packing Pink look a like beyatch..

i mean i wouldn't kick her out of bed, but she didn't really exude sexy femme fatale to me.  just fatale and crazy